de-lib-er-ance
the act of being deliberate; characterized by or resulting from careful and thorough consideration; characterized by an awareness of the consequences;   slow, unhurried, and steady, as though allowing time for each individual action.


if you know me, you would know that i ask a lot of questions, hate making decisions (especially big ones), often need too much clarity on tasks, like to complete things, and want to take the time to "think through things."  just to name a few.  talking with good bud little jess tonight.  she asked me my 2013 goals. goals, not resolutions as neither of us are big fans of new year's resolutions.  i think we both feel that no one ever keeps them.  and, they are pointless.  just in our opinion, of course.  but, regardless, i told her that i haven't had time to think and process this past year yet (almost a cop-out), but told her i would go ahead and answer the question:

2012 was a year of transition for me.  and, there are parts of it i would honestly like to erase.  a lot of things were up in the air, unsettled, unfinished, and uncertain.  but, enough of me hating on my year of 2012.  overall, it was good.  let me not lose sight of that, despite my frustrations, regrets, and disappointments.  there were lots of laughs, life-changing moments, and ups.  tons indeed.  i say all that to say i am super excited about the new year.  a new start.  a fresh start.  a new season (literally).  a new beginning to life and work in birmingham.  and, what are my goals for this new year?  first up, i want to be more disciplined.  i want to pray more, read the bible more, read more books, wake up on time, memorize more scripture, etc.  the usual.  but, i know i need a plan for that.  so, i want to be disciplined in how i carry that out.  cuz, if you wanna do something, you gotta take steps to do that.  even if it is hard work.  goal #1.

goal #2 would be to trust god more.  cuz, honestly, i don't really believe i do.  that i REALLY trust him.  how to practically do that though is the question.  here's a thought:  i went to churchy a few weeks back, and the pastor hit it on the head.  i wrote in my journal that night:

at church today, the pastor was talking about paul in phillipians 1.  writing from jail with joy.  and the pastor said we find joy (among many other things) in god by putting him to the test.  in the same way we build friendships.  how do we know if we can trust someone?  we spend time with them and after a while, see if they keep their word.  we need to do that with god.  he is who he says he is.  let him do that.  no more of convincing ourselves to be confident in god.  and, playing mind games.  we can know god is who he says he is because we have seen him be who he says he is.

boom.  my how i needed to hear that.  and, my how i aspire to put god to the test this year.  especially after hearing some super challenging talks from passion 2013.


3 I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, 4 always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. 6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. 7 It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. 8 For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. 9 And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, 10 so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

Nineteen.

I found this little nugget perusing my potentially dying computer, in attempt to delete and save some files. Originally written in March for the CAA blog, yet I don't think it was every posted. Oh well. Do enjoy:


19. That is the current tally of nicknames. The number I have had, or at least of the ones I remember. They come from every avenue of my life: youth soccer teams (Sam), college friends (Sara Sam, Straight Chizzled, Smash), or CAA internship (Chuck, Coach, Sam Truck). I think my favorite is “Sadie.” My parents named me Sara after her and our friends have both called us Sadie. I love the reminder of my sweet, outspoken, and southern accent speaking grandmother.

Although I remember much from her, I will always think of our many times laughing together. We would often be cracking up, when we probably should be sad about a situation. She would say, “it is better that we are laughing about it than crying.” Her words have marked my life. No doubt. If I were to write an autobiography, I would title it, “live it up,” thanks to her. No, I do not mean party all the time and live a crazy and fun life for myself. I mean just to live up the moment while I have it. Enjoy the time I have doing the things that I do, being around the people I am around. She taught me that early. And, I have experienced enough heartache in my short 23 years to know life is short. There is no point crying and getting frustrated about a situation (usually one that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things), when I can just laugh and see the bright side of it.

So, choose joy. The Bible never uses the phrase, yet I find the idea written all over the pages. “Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say rejoice” gives one instance (Philippians 4). Rejoice even in the midst of crazy life circumstances, good and bad. Whether that is in a tough marriage, a new baby on the way, frustrations with children, graduation festivities, or even losing a parent. Joy can be found in any situation. By that I mean, find it. It’s totally worth it. Sadie says do it.

I-65 chat.

Driving to work one morning this week.  And, decided I would utilize  my time well and provide a much needed study break to one of my college friends.  And, I don’t rightfully know exactly what she was referring to, but she said, “Samchok. I was reading your email, and it seems like things have calmed down for you guys.”  To which I said, “Yeah.”  Thinking in my head.  For sure.  That would be a very correct statement for NorthStar right now.  Meaning, correct.  Things indeed have slowed down.  As I am writing this though, the stack of handbooks and manuals on my desk grows taller and taller.  Literally.  This morning, another 65 pager hit my inbox.  Light reading for the off-season, eh?  But, it is good.  NorthStar-wise, things are slow.  Just had our Christmas party literally (and figuratively) wrapping everything up for the fall.  So, time to relax and recoop.  Or, in my case read and research.  But, I am so enjoying it.  Learning about a game I love to impact some kiddos with the Jesus I love.  

slow ministry time...

So, with the fall soccer season over, I have some time to think and plan.  For a lot of things I need to think and plan (aka soccer), but also other random thoughts that roll around in my little head.  One of the things I am thinking about these days, include: what is a Christian's role in influencing culture? Specifically, what is my role in influencing culture? What is my specific calling? I think I got some big clarity in that regard last spring, for sure. Yet, what does that mean for me specifically at NorthStar? How does my calling fit into our ministry? What exactly is my role?  I think this article puts into words a lot of my thoughts (thanks Rachel): http://www.qideas.org/essays/influencing-culture.aspx.

like it. (ha.)

in memorium.

maybe indeed very needed words for our country today and its fight (or lack there-of) against modern-day slavery.

a request of magnitude.

Napoleon and his army once conquered an important island in the Mediterranean Sea. As he and his generals were discussing their victory, a young officer appeared at the door of the tent. He came boldly before the emperor and asked, “Give me this island as my own!” To the amazement of the generals, Napoleon immediately granted him his request for the strategic island. “How could you do that?” asked one of the generals. “What made him worthy to receive this great island?” Napoleon responded, “I gave him the island because he honored me with the magnitude of his request!”

what would that look like in our prayer life?

cso internship recap.

In lieu of the new month of November, thoughts from my journal written September 1^st, 2012...

I started out an internship with Camp All-American one year ago today.  Wowzers.  I was asked yesterday if I regretted anything about the internship.  I said the only thing I regretted was not keeping in touch with my supporters well.  A friend has often asked me, “are you glad you did it?”  And I can say the answer is a definite yes.  Amen.

A month until I start at NorthStar.  Amen.

A month of support raising ahead of me.  May you provide and help me to actively put my faith in you. 

Psalm 78.  It is real good.  Reminding me to not forget.

• Support Raised – 80% by 9/1/12; 100% by 10/1/12
• Amazing relationships with Full-Time Staff
• Figured out what I wanna do – coaching
• Personal growth, refinement, and development
• San Diego take-aways – humility, sports ministry, fun, and friends
• ARK – probably our biggest success
• Summer 2012
• Meetings with Tricia
• TFL (theology class)

So, what did God do?

1. He provided support.  Enough money for me to live off of for a whole year.  Faithful.  Provider.
2. He taught me a lot about myself – spiritually and elsewise, so I can serve him and tell others about him way better.
3. He taught me about himself.
4. He opened my eyes to his goodness and what I wanna be when I grow up.  Good.
5. He blessed ARK.  Tons of kids came, never got rained out or too cold (honest truth; we never had to cancel because of weather – praise the Lord), relationships built with parents and kids where they trusted us, told them about jesus.
6. He blessed me with fantastic relationships.  Relationships centered on Christ.  More of a taste of true community where encouragement, correction, laughter, fun, and even hard work can co-exist.
7. He provided a job after the internship, actually one that honestly fell right into my lap in NorthStar.  Mind-blowing that I get to work with an old camp friend and do something that I love.
8. He taught and sanctified me a lot through this summer.
9. He reminded me of how good he is.  Through all the ups and downs, he is still good.  And, this year has been fantastic, challenging, growing, nurturing, exciting, frustrating, overwhelming; worth it.  He redeems and restores.  And is truly good and wants our good above all.  Seriously.  Remember it Samchok.

Themes:  Don’t quit.  Don’t forget.  He is good.  Just wait and see.  He will provide.  Knowing him is most important.  Be who God has created me to be.  Enjoy the ride (don’t fret about the end).  Eat it up.  As a lot of questions; have a lot of doubts.  Not everything needs a category/title.  I don’t like being left alone.  Asking for help is difficult; community.  Stop and walk by the spirit.  Keep being relational and intentional.  “You’ve got your scars and you’ve got your birthmarks.  Darling, we all do.”

“I have told the glad news of deliverance in the great congregation…I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness from the great congregation.”  Psalm 40:9-10