maybe because i know it is my last one. no ifs, ands, or buts about this one. every other summer, i have gone in wondering if it were my last. will i come back instead of get a pt internship (2009)? will i find a job that starts in may after i graduate (2010)? will i be able to work this summer despite teaching and our really long calendar years that end in june (2011)? this summer, i know it is the end. at least the end of working full summers. always a possibility i could come back for a week or two. but, i am looking at other full-time jobs that don't have a ten week summer break. and, this has honestly been the first summer where i think i am okay with that. i think i am okay with not coming back. this being my last hoorah.
maybe it is because i have been in the office all year. planning for camp. working since january on ozone. and, still had a few loose ends to tie up until saturday. point in case: last week, folks started coming in the office to hang out and do work. they were all good people - directors, friends, people to help camp get set up. ahhhhhhhhhhhh! i couldn't handle it. i wasn't ready for people to come yet. needed a few more days. to finish up a few things. to get my mind around the fact that camp started next week. very different from my other years.
maybe it is because every summer feels different. that is what mclaine says. i agree there is some truth to that statement. but this one feels a whole lot more different than the rest. still ain't quite sure why though...
regardless, camp starts tomorrow. and, i am excited. just in a different way than in the past. it isn't an excitement to see old friends, work with cool people, or love on some kids. cuz, honestly, i have been doing that all year. anybody i am super excited about working with (there are a good number of those), i have either spent a year with them in the office or seen them a lot on campuses. i worked with super cool people in the office this off-season. super cool. and, i was around kids a lot since august - ARK, BB Crew, and my basketball team.
earlier this month, our full-time staff and summer directors embarked on a two-day leadership retreat. while up at winshape, we did some team-building games and a few ropes course activities. the first night, one of our facilitators posed this question: "what are you hoping god does this summer?" and, honestly, i hadn't thought much about that until he asked us..weeks later, i am still not exactly sure of my answer. but, i do know that those answers are probably what i am most excited about for this summer, even though it does "feel different":
- god to change hearts of ozone campers and for the gospel to click for them.
- counselors' lives to be changed while teaching jesus to campers, loving the campers even when it is hot and they are so annoying, and being in community with other believers, among many other things.
- allowing me to experience first hand the life change of counselors, CORE leaders, and directors that i already have relationships with.
- allowing me to spend some quality time with friends i usually see every few months (due to their being away at school).
- using me in my leadership position as he has already humbled me due to being on crutches. actually excited about that one, not bummed.
- equipping and using the 2 CORE leaders in ozone to step up and and kill it in leading their guys and girls. trusting in their inadequacies, but resting in his strength to manage and shepherd well.
- the lord teaching me and showing me some things personally.
leh go.
