the act of being deliberate; characterized by or resulting from careful and thorough consideration; characterized by an awareness of the consequences; slow, unhurried, and steady, as though allowing time for each individual action.
if you know me, you would know that i ask a lot of questions, hate making decisions (especially big ones), often need too much clarity on tasks, like to complete things, and want to take the time to "think through things." just to name a few. talking with good bud little jess tonight. she asked me my 2013 goals. goals, not resolutions as neither of us are big fans of new year's resolutions. i think we both feel that no one ever keeps them. and, they are pointless. just in our opinion, of course. but, regardless, i told her that i haven't had time to think and process this past year yet (almost a cop-out), but told her i would go ahead and answer the question:
2012 was a year of transition for me. and, there are parts of it i would honestly like to erase. a lot of things were up in the air, unsettled, unfinished, and uncertain. but, enough of me hating on my year of 2012. overall, it was good. let me not lose sight of that, despite my frustrations, regrets, and disappointments. there were lots of laughs, life-changing moments, and ups. tons indeed. i say all that to say i am super excited about the new year. a new start. a fresh start. a new season (literally). a new beginning to life and work in birmingham. and, what are my goals for this new year? first up, i want to be more disciplined. i want to pray more, read the bible more, read more books, wake up on time, memorize more scripture, etc. the usual. but, i know i need a plan for that. so, i want to be disciplined in how i carry that out. cuz, if you wanna do something, you gotta take steps to do that. even if it is hard work. goal #1.
goal #2 would be to trust god more. cuz, honestly, i don't really believe i do. that i REALLY trust him. how to practically do that though is the question. here's a thought: i went to churchy a few weeks back, and the pastor hit it on the head. i wrote in my journal that night:
at church today, the pastor was talking about paul in phillipians 1. writing from jail with joy. and the pastor said we find joy (among many other things) in god by putting him to the test. in the same way we build friendships. how do we know if we can trust someone? we spend time with them and after a while, see if they keep their word. we need to do that with god. he is who he says he is. let him do that. no more of convincing ourselves to be confident in god. and, playing mind games. we can know god is who he says he is because we have seen him be who he says he is.boom. my how i needed to hear that. and, my how i aspire to put god to the test this year. especially after hearing some super challenging talks from passion 2013.
3 I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, 4 always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. 6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. 7 It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. 8 For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. 9 And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, 10 so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.
