so, as many of y'all know, i often have difficulty making decisions. sometimes i even hate them. if you asked, i would tell you this is because i don't enjoy that decisions come with consequences (good or bad), i don't want to be the one responsible for those consequences, and i am a people pleaser (thus i don't want folks to get mad at me if it was a poor decision). true indeed. yet, i think i am a learning more about these things as of late. talking about my hate of decision-making at community group a few weeks back. i shared my bit to share, then sat back, answered questions, and listened. i got a myriad of things, from responses to how my friends struggle with the same issues, even at 3-15 years my senior, to thought-provoking questions, to jokes. i remember one question: "are you always wondering what is next; when you will have to make a decision next? is that where the stress comes from?" i thought about it when he asked, and didn't think that was the case. but, as i reflect more on this topic, i think the answer is yes. for example, driving back to birmingham the other weekend, i was jamming to some john mayer. i saw on my dash that it was on track 6. and, i had a minor freak out (key word minor) as i knew in six more songs i would decide what cd is next - do i want to listen to this one over? put in a new one? which new cd? (old school, i know.) and, in a small way, i realized that this is true for me. even chatting with sarah king recently. she asked, "so, is it the fear of the unknown?" and, as i thought through later, i think there is a good bit of truth right there as well. on a small scale again, i sometimes hate going to a new restaurant and ordering my meal. first off, there are usually way too many options. but, secondly, what if i don't like what i order? what if i love it? will i wish i would have gotten something different? will it be worth the money i paid for the meal? the unknown, if you will.
so, back to the amazing words of wisdom for the young college grads (cough, cough). check out these articles, if you are like me. hopefully they will shed some light on things, specifically our culture, biology, and what other people way smarter than me say.
the god of open options among other things, how delaying/not making a decision can be disobedience.
more choices, less commitment. an article about online dating. premises still true for many other aspects of our lives.
how to love valentine's day even if you're single. to quote another sara(h): "i don't think it's just relevant for single people. we all wait for something. i hope you name animals with dignity, excellence, patience and humility."
barry schwartz - ted talk. from the perspective of science, not the gospel.
and, lastly, i leave you with arguably my favorite of late...10 things your commencement speaker won't tell you. just read it. well worth the time...
and, if you are like me, you will struggle with decisions. and, there can be a ton to be made right after college. if you are like me, you may dread making those decisions. but, do a little better than me, and really trust in god's sovereignty over, in, through, before, during, and after our decisions. that's what i'm working on as of late. haven't figured out everything 100%, and i think it will continue to be a struggle for me. to trust in his love and goodness towards me, and not hate and judgement if i make the "wrong" decision. to trust in him, even though i cannot fully comprehend the balance between his being in total control and my freedom and ability to choose. consequences and all. for my good and his glory. but, for now, i'm wanting to put to death my petty little fears over whether i made the right decisions and trust in the lord's sovereignty and goodness for me. amen and amen..
