Fun Stuff

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

a-dopt

to take by choice into a relationship, especially to take voluntarily as one's own child;  to accept formally and put into effect;  to sponsor the care and maintenance of


enter victor running around his house, tossing a football in the air.  after he breaks an expensive vase, this is the exchange between he and his adopted mom:
"i'm sorry.  i'll...i'll...i'll pay for it."
"are you okay?"
"yeah...how much is it?"
"i told you to be careful...it's expensive."
"i'm sorry."
"you don't have to pay for it.  how about this.  let's just go back to the 'no football in the house rule', alright?"
"yeah...so, you're not gonna change your mind about adopting me?  like not have the ceremony?"
"no.  i'm never gonna change my mind."
"okay...oookay.  "
"i want you to stick around."
"okay."
a picture of my heart right now.  thanks nbc.  thanks parenthood.  ha.  seriously though.  i feel like victor all too often.  i do something wrong, or i mess up, and i automatically think god doesn't love me anymore.  or, god is mad with me.  or, what will be my punishment.  yet, he continually says to me over and over again that he loves me.  and, nothing i can do will ever change that.  regardless of my sin and mistakes and wrong actions, he still will have me in his family.  he has adopted me and nothing can change that.  how indeed i do struggle with believing that.  so often.  to walk by and in grace, not in performance...

yet...for it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of god—not by works, so that no one can boast.  ephesians 2:8-9.



"i want that [woman] in my family.  i will do anything to get [her] in my family."

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

west end and the white moderate. sgraceking style.

meet my bro.  he's a talker.  in a good way.  although sometimes i can't handle all his yap, and need my space; or, i just tell him to shut it.  ha.  but, i really enjoyed the time with my bro over break.  even if all his talking does annoy me at times.  he's a super good brother.  seriously.  when chatting about mr. david, i usually say something to the effect of how different we are, which is very true.  personality wise, among many other things.  yet, we are pretty similar at the core.    

we both have a heart for cities, and seeing the old and ruined parts rebuilt (aka "community development").  neither of us want to "rock the suburbs."  we don't want to live someplace that is "comfortable," away from the "uncomfortable-ness" of the city - crime and brokenness literally at your doorstep.  while at home this christmas, we drove from the jboro to west end.  just to look at a part of town on the up-and-up (well, at least in david's opinion).  just in case you didn't believe me...

and, both of us struggle what to do with that.  where do we live?  where do we work?  what do we do in our spare time?  how do we incorporate this gospel of jesus christ into our lives - growing up in and knowing these affluent suburbs, while seeing and being exposed to the hurt and sin outside our neighborhoods.  also, we question and doubt.  a lot.  maybe he a bit more than me.  and, i don't think either of us will ever find a church that we "love," one with the music, teaching, feel, and people that we want.  anyways, i digress...

so, my break involved a lot of good chatting with the bro-sky.  with a lot of other folks too.  namely david, friends, family, and supporters (i think that covers everyone).  in fact, the highlight of my break was probably playing soccer with caa friends.  GOOOOO SOCCA!!!  during those 2 hours, i thought and talked about NOTHING.  it was refreshing to say the least.  to play a game i love (something i have been unable to do these past few months) and physically exert my body.  not thinking about anything, but enjoying the time with friends.  so, yes, i talked a lot, with a lot of different folks.  deep, joyful, uncomfortable, refreshing, difficult, thought-provoking, question-filled, and encouraging chats.  and as i think back on them, and the rest of christmas break 2012, here's what i got:

i want to be well-read.  yet, even as i type this, i wonder indeed if this is for the right reasons.  is my pride wanting me to be well-versed and educated?  so, i can have educated conversations and be thought well-of?  is reading just enough, or is thinking about and processing the reading what i need to do?  how do i be well-read and educated in this society, especially with my lack of graduate and post-graduate work.

christianity is complex.  the more i grow older, the more i realize i don't know.  and, christianity isn't easy to swallow.  it is contrary to a lot of things of my culture.  1 corinthians 1:18-31.  and, even contrary, in some respects, to the christianity in which i grew up.  that is also hard to swallow - to, in some ways, relearn much of how i view the world and what i believe as truth.

for example, my old version of christianity was a lifeboat.  or, at least my understanding of what i believed.  the ship in which we are sailing is sinking.  and, we must get into the life boat to save ourselves.  and, we have to make sure to bring others into the life boat.  but, the ship is going down, eventually.  so, we just wait until the ship sinks, and then we will be needed.  and, tell others the ship is sinking so they can jump in the life boat too.  but, i believe that jesus is about more than just saving our souls.  i do agree that is a huge portion of why he came.  don't get me wrong.  and, if by chance you disagree, i welcome any conversation from the opposing point of view.  but, then why are we still left on earth if we are believers?  what are we saved from?  why is this world so broken?  what is the church's responsibility to fix it?  is it our responsibility to fix it, or just insulate ourselves from the world?


jesus came into a broken world.  and, for that i am thankful (most of the times, at least), because he came into this world to fix it.  to make it right.  our ultimate salvation, yes.  amen.  there's more though.  to bring his kingdom to us.  and restore this broken world.  how good of news is that?  the cool thing is though god wants to use us to bring it about.  martin luther king, jr. wrote that human progress (and i also argue the kingdom of god)"...never rolls in on wheels of inevitability; it comes through the tireless efforts of men willing to be co-workers with God" (Letter from a Birmingham Jail).  so, how do we become co-workers with god until exhaustion to bring about this kingdom to a broken world?  how do i do this?

dr. king later wrote these words in that same letter:
"…[O]ver the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season." Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.” 
wow.  what am i NOT doing as a "white moderate"?  for example, in regards to our current struggle against modern-day slavery?  i don't want to turn a blind eye to injustices around me.  whether that be in west birmingham or across the world.  but, seriously.  27 million slaves in the world today.  what am i doing to solve this?  what am i NOT doing to let this injustice continue?  it seems the white moderate of the 1960's did nothing to solve the problem of injustice then.  and, all i can do, looking back 50 years later, is ask, "why did they not do anything to help?"  hello?  blatant injustices, civil rights violations, and breaking of the u.s. constitution.  why did they not do anything to help?  why were the black churches the only ones fighting for civil rights?  where was the white church?  my answer - they were just living their normal life in their communities.  unaffected by these injustices.  and they did nothing, because it was easier that way.  the blacks and whites had completely separate cultures, churches, lawyers, doctors, areas of town, essentially separate lives; so why do anything?  it wouldn't affect the whites.  if anything, it would make their life worse.  (for the record, visiting the birmingham civil rights museum can make you wonder things.)  so, in regards to this slavery issue of today (among so many other issues), i don't want to be a part of the white moderate.  i just struggle how NOT to be of the white moderate.  currently, as a 24 year old, and probably for the rest of my life.

so, for now, i raise my voice.  awareness really and truly is a major part of the fight.  so, be aware.  and, be encouraged of the good that the people of god are bringing.  his kingdom, if you will.  doing more than just saving souls.  what jesus also and arguably equally came to do.  check it out from passion 2013 (and see friend and studly caa counselor katie at 1:13).


“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."  Luke 4:18-19.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

de-lib-er-ance
the act of being deliberate; characterized by or resulting from careful and thorough consideration; characterized by an awareness of the consequences;   slow, unhurried, and steady, as though allowing time for each individual action.


if you know me, you would know that i ask a lot of questions, hate making decisions (especially big ones), often need too much clarity on tasks, like to complete things, and want to take the time to "think through things."  just to name a few.  talking with good bud little jess tonight.  she asked me my 2013 goals. goals, not resolutions as neither of us are big fans of new year's resolutions.  i think we both feel that no one ever keeps them.  and, they are pointless.  just in our opinion, of course.  but, regardless, i told her that i haven't had time to think and process this past year yet (almost a cop-out), but told her i would go ahead and answer the question:

2012 was a year of transition for me.  and, there are parts of it i would honestly like to erase.  a lot of things were up in the air, unsettled, unfinished, and uncertain.  but, enough of me hating on my year of 2012.  overall, it was good.  let me not lose sight of that, despite my frustrations, regrets, and disappointments.  there were lots of laughs, life-changing moments, and ups.  tons indeed.  i say all that to say i am super excited about the new year.  a new start.  a fresh start.  a new season (literally).  a new beginning to life and work in birmingham.  and, what are my goals for this new year?  first up, i want to be more disciplined.  i want to pray more, read the bible more, read more books, wake up on time, memorize more scripture, etc.  the usual.  but, i know i need a plan for that.  so, i want to be disciplined in how i carry that out.  cuz, if you wanna do something, you gotta take steps to do that.  even if it is hard work.  goal #1.

goal #2 would be to trust god more.  cuz, honestly, i don't really believe i do.  that i REALLY trust him.  how to practically do that though is the question.  here's a thought:  i went to churchy a few weeks back, and the pastor hit it on the head.  i wrote in my journal that night:
at church today, the pastor was talking about paul in phillipians 1.  writing from jail with joy.  and the pastor said we find joy (among many other things) in god by putting him to the test.  in the same way we build friendships.  how do we know if we can trust someone?  we spend time with them and after a while, see if they keep their word.  we need to do that with god.  he is who he says he is.  let him do that.  no more of convincing ourselves to be confident in god.  and, playing mind games.  we can know god is who he says he is because we have seen him be who he says he is.
boom.  my how i needed to hear that.  and, my how i aspire to put god to the test this year.  especially after hearing some super challenging talks from passion 2013.


3 I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, 4 always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. 6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. 7 It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. 8 For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. 9 And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, 10 so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.